Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.

“Don’t worry Prince; I’ve bought a rope from Homebase. I’ll be with you in five minutes. Wait there.”

That’s the problem with me, as I have often been told; I am too independent, which can translate as frosty on occasion. I know I am a little volcano, it just depends how enamoured I am. But, I see the point, I am not exactly the type of woman waiting to be rescued, or taken away somewhere. When I try the wait and see approach, nothing happens. I always have my own little schemes of what to do next.

Last night, I had a surprise call from my ex-employer wanting to keep in touch. My first thought was, what does she want? However, now that she does not pay me, can I relax? Well only up to the point,  I mentioned, as a single woman I am very busy and working very hard. She is allergic to the word ‘single’. When I left her employment, we went for a farewell meal together and she said in a year I would be married with children now that I have met her. I often thought her more likely to be hiding a broom stick rather than a magic wand. She will need it with six months left to the deadline.

I am now invited to France, but I know what will be on her agenda. She is a modern day, Russian Emma. I imagine her check list to go something like this:

• Own yacht.
• Low number of ex-wives.
• Will consider adoption, (less work for the wife.
• Has a discrete mistress, (less work for the wife.)
• Will hire a number of slaves, (less work for the wife.)
• A million credit cards because both wife and mistress are supposed to look perfect, they can’t have a job. Looking good is the most important job.

As opposed to my Dutch friend:

• Good in bed
• Can afford to buy his clothes
• Speaks five languages and was self taught.
• Byronic moodiness.
• Will not have a clue how to help you round the house. He spent his time learning five languages. Doh!

That just leaves me to figure out my own list! I think that will take about five years, and people wonder why Helen Fielding sold loads of books.