A place of learning

I have been to a lot of museums, sometimes I can’t absorb all of the information on offer and leave, imagine being at the Hermitage for too long. Naturally, I always go to a sex museum, if there is one in the city. More interesting than that was the palace in Florence with a rich display of navigational equipment. Being quite a traveller, or a gypsy, my interest was not as shallow as a visit for visit’s sake.

I remember I wore red and it was rather hot that day, there was sweat on my collar bones. As I looked up from a display I looked up to meet someone’s eyes. A man dressed all in black, he looked like he might be the fourth member of Green Day. At first he smiled at me, merely in a friendly manner. The setting was marvellous, but as I walked from room to room, there he was, unshakable, and each time I looked up, there he was. Only his smile changed from friendly to suggestive, suggestive to sexual. I thought at any moment, Tinto Brass would pop out and say “cut”. There he followed me, from glass case to glass case. I felt myself attracted to him, though he was an unusual looking man. I am not so sure I have ‘type’, beyond intelligent or adventurous, the one can be greater than the other, so long as his reserves of either are greater than mine. (I am only as good as my audience).  I fell asleep in the gardens, and he sat close by, but it was only a silent flirtation, silent men are sometimes the best kind.

The other museum was bizarre in that all the places in the world to have the largest display of Rolls Royce’s, it is in Dornbirn. It is strange that this British institution is not in England and that an Austrian was the car’s biggest fan. Every Phantom and Phantom II was cleaned, polished, oiled, dusted, spat on, rubbed and leathered, it was a dizzying experience. Perhaps this is closest I will ever get to being artificially high. I was a very good girl, I never had time to get drunk, or try soft drugs. I had two jobs and was rehearsing for a musical whilst I was still attending school. (I worked so hard that I made myself susceptible to glandular fever.) In the first hall, I thought I might be in heaven with every inch of metal gleaming like angels’ halos. At St Peter’s gate, the Andrew sisters were singing. In reality the songs were played out over the tannoy. Unfortunately, the real joy of the cars is bound to each platform they are displayed on. The most fun you can have at the museum is to have a dinner party surrounded by the cars.  It is shame to view the cars as only trinkets and not out on the surrounding roads, like birds of prey kept on a string, the best of their beauty is clipped.

I told you it is small world, I need to take my own advice

After finishing one contract here in Austria, a well done meal was the order of the day with my colleagues. I think we were all shattered and needed to relax, during which time conversation about funny and unusual characters come out of the box. I pledged that 2008 would be the year of hedonism and indeed I managed to have some fun. I met and I had a lengthy flirtation with a colleague of mine at the time, but I kept it quiet because we had to take a training weekend together. I knew that after several meetings in Moscow (we both happened to be in the city at the same time, that it wouldn’t go any further). I didn’t need a call or an e-mail to announce it, I wanted the situation to end as naturally as it did. Trust me, it is not easy to apply the avoidance strategy that I am currently using else where. So it was with some surprise, having nearly forgot all about the period of time, that it was brought up by a colleague of mine at dinner. “Oh yes, once there was this couple in the hotel.........” He didn’t know who the perpetrators were of course.

Damn!! It could not be avoided, my face went as red as a smacked bottom and I think that was indication enough for my colleague at dinner. I had managed at that point to push sex out of my mind during my travels throughout Austria. There was no escaping the presence of this particular activity in my mind after that. To make matters worse, the rest of the afternoon was spent talking with my female colleagues all about sex. The good, the bad and the funny, but after the above lesson, I nominated myself for the listening role. Apparently some 40% of people meet partners at work, I am certainly sticking with the 60% that don’t.

Austrian Number +43 69919 434630

Walking in a winter wonderland

Of all the places in the world I could find myself living and working, I have no idea how Austria and Russia came about. I could be lying in the sun after a day at work, or taking early morning swims in the sea. But here I am wearing several layers and still freezing. The most bizarre occasion I attended was a Brazilian bar in Moscow. On entering the cloakroom you must remove a scarf, hat, coat, undercoat, jumper and t-shirt. It takes about ten minutes to make it into the building to enjoy cocktails and music in the club.

After a while, you get used to the murderous stalactites, furry snow automobiles and cracking ice streams. I actually managed to have very few falls, in spite of the fact that I wore heels all over Moscow.  After a merry night out for my birthday, somewhere after five am, the usual ten minute walk home took three times as long in four inch heels. By the time I arrived home, the vapours from my breath had condensed onto my scarf.

Strangely, I managed all that in heels, but could I do it wearing ski boots? Not at first, I actually had more problems wearing the ski boots. They would be more effective on the moon where the gravitational pull is one sixth of Earths. Surely I had made enough of an idiot of myself before actually putting the skis on.  I started to think skiing is one of the most expensive ways to part with your money and for very little fun.  It is strange that I feel more comfortable placing my faith in a horse rather than a pair of skis.

Without a teacher available it crossed my mind that I might require that annual insurance after all. However, the day passed without any broken bones. I enjoyed it enough to return another day.  Feeling ready to take the next step and actually try somewhere else other than the training slopes, the easiest route. I went to the next lift, only to find that I had the wrong type of ticket for the day. It was too far to walk back up again, there was no choice.  I had to learn to ski or never get off the slope.  I finally understand why skiing is such hard work and exhilarating too.  I did not get away too lightly; a wrong turn resulted in snow pie when I landed in some deep snow. With all the grace of an elephant, it took some minutes to get back on my feet again.  Finally, sans broken bones, I made it to the bottom of the slope. I was not going to make the same mistake twice in one day. I have plenty of time to show everyone how awful I am, next time.

UA professional life

I can’t be sure anymore which of my professions is more interesting. This week I enjoyed the spectacle of watching a man at work take his shirt off to put another one on. It was like something out of a diet coke advert, I am sure I heard Aretha Franklin begin to sing.  I had to spend the evening in the company of this person with the knowledge of what was hidden beneath. Cruelly enough, whilst I am in a period of restriction.  I thought about learning to bake some bread, but a chat later that evening quashed any ideas, he was not a smart enough cookie for me.

It is a rare to find a career where the inventiveness of some of the people I work with leaves me astounded and chuckling for hours. The conversations that I have with some colleagues can be a bit predictable at times. For example, “Whilst I was in the outer Hebrides”, or “I made a day trip to Rwanda one day.....”. With such a range of places in our conversation it might as well be Umpa Lumpa land. Sometimes conversations reveal individuals who can play the drums, teach skiing and sing in a jazz band, in addition to their day job. It is any wonder that I have too many ideas of what to do next.

I have stayed in the most outrageous places whilst travelling. Not luxury at all, in villages with a population the Antarctic would beat. I tend to meet some unusual people. I have every reason to be concerned; it is always young sexualised women in movies who become the muderer’s prey.  Perhaps the writers of ‘The league of gentlemen’ visited Austria first for a few ideas.  Once I stayed in a building designed to accomodate three hundred people, but there were only seven residents at night time. The only way into town was through some dense woods and the taxi drivers in the town didn’t work after eight. It was a perfect setting for a horror film.

Additionally, I have had the pleasure of meeting some truly amazing people with stories that will never be told. In Ethiopia I met some well qualified and even distinguished gentlemen. One of whom in his youth, was forced to beg for scraps of food. Another gentleman became well qualified earning his wage as a shoe-shine boy on the streets of Addis Ababa. If you ever wanted to find out what it means to be a self-made-man, take this as an example and not Richard Branson. 

Another attracted my curiosity for his winding path in life. I remember him because I am envious of him and his lifestyle. I actually contacted him prior to working together for another purpose. His is multi- talented and he was mentioned in some tourist magazines for his second profession. He always wore the same clothes, jeans tucked into green boots, a bright white shirt, a maroon scarf and a brown hat. He is French and was street-wise enough to speak Amharic with the street boys and gangs who threatened his livelihood. All of which he did for his family and for various polio charities. I never met his wife, but I am sure she is something special.  I imagined an Ethiopian princess. He is made in a form that is not seen anymore. My colleagues all joked as he walked down some torn- up highway in Addis, “there goes the big white male hunter”. I doubt I will meet another character as active, or as unusual as him.