From Russia - should I send my love?

It could prove to be a scary and rather questionable choice? Especially, offers of help, supplied for whatever reason from a big bear of a Russian man, (if this were a movie, cue pictures of a secret alley way with the sound of breathing and foot-steps.) As a friend of mine said, perhaps it was an offer to clear any dead bodies, should you ever need to! Well not quite the picture of espionage some people might like to create, as it was all within the context of an interview, which went rather well. Hopefully, I have been successful in locating the next place to work during the summer.

To which another friend of mine responded to my news, I not sure what was meant by this, Freudian slip of the tongue or with complete intent, “I am sure they will like you. Is it a live in job, like a mistress? I think you will make a good mistress.”

Yes, perhaps your right? Cough, cough!

The great return

So I have been back in the UK for ten days, and what I have returned to, considering all the fun I had in Austria, seems like punishment. My natural disposition is not to complain, but I have reports to write and there is nothing like the blank page to scare the wits out of you.

I admit that I tend to live in a bubble and lose track of all events in the UK when I travel abroad, but I guess that is the purpose. This was a concern on one occasion a few years ago, when I came to realization, that once I got off the plane, because of petrol shortages caused by protests that I might not be able to travel home.

Whilst I have travelled quite a lot, it is not my usual habit to move every week, I tend to stay put for a month or so at least. Therefore, it was the strangest concept to return to my own bedroom after so much movement. It was as if my life in the UK had been fossilized and my role is that of an archaeologist to uncover my past life. The conclusion, this girl has too much stuff, but this girl can’t help it. Yet, it is amazing what you can manage to do without, even with more than 40 kg which I initially carried abroad. Perhaps I should ask Eleanor Aston for tips on how to pack my case.

In spite of that, I have gathered a few things that are great about Great Britain, a list that might be updated after further trips.

You can cross the road without the aid of the green man. It is not just a safety precaution in Austria, but a legal requirement for which you can be fined.

Sorry to the smokers, but I love the anti-smoking laws, especially when after visiting a restaurant in Vienna and people start smoking after their starter, main course and desert.

London is perhaps the fashionable city in the world, but please do not mention Milan in those terms, great cut of clothes, but Milan has a motto that Henry T. Ford would love.

At the same time, I think I must be in highly sexual mood at the moment, which is quiet concerning at times, Thank goodness I am not a man, but really, I am faced with fantasy material everywhere I look at the moment, which is most distracting when I have a blank page to concentrate on. But, I have come to the conclusion that London seems to have the most attractive men, and perhaps Scotland has the sexiest!

The best sex museum in the world.

I have been to four sex museums now, I think I have found the best one, unless you would like to mail me and tell me otherwise.

Ok. It might seem an obvious place, when I mention Prague, but the reason for my vote is that that they have the world’s first recording of a threesome. That might not seem such an amazing thing, but it survived the Second World War and the rule of General Franco and his government, and is currently placed at the sex museum in Prague. At first couples and friends all walk in tittering, but they enter the room, settle and stay to watch the video. I was not so sure at first what they were laughing at, the fully rounded female bodies or the plot of the movie. The first, the size of the ladies in the film, well that is much more of a comment on how fashions have changed, they were not unattractive. As for the plot, well I think we have forgotten that these people are not copying years of a porn movie institution; they are making these movies for the first time. To be honest, it was not that different from some of the films around now, except there is no speaking, and there is music instead, which I am not sure in the scheme of things is that much of a loss. It is much more fun having to imagine what was being said, and less of a distraction.

What was even more amazing given its Spanish origin is that the one movie depicted a Catholic priest taking advantage of a female worshipper. The plot was that the female was praying for forgiveness, and the priest tells her that she will be forgiven if she obliges his requests.

The second, the world’s first recorded threesome in 1925, the plot stems from the wife taking revenge on her husband, who is a doctor, because she views him abusing his patients. So she sleeps with the maid and butler. What was amazing about this video is not only is she not subject to her husband’s requests, in fact he is tired of her requests, but that she is in charge of the threesome in the scene. Perhaps someone would like to inform me, but it was only twenty years before, when Picasso painted his painting, Les Demoiselles d’Avignon, which showed females viewing rather than only being viewed in the picture. Whilst the video held my interest on this basis, after all sex is as much a part of social activity as any other thing that we do, it was actually a turn on to watch this video, to see the real women, although they are probably not alive anymore. I wonder if they knew what was going to follow and what pioneers they were towards the cause of sex and sexual satisfaction.

Maybe I am fickle

Maybe I am fickle, but it seems I am in love, with a country, doubt-less until the next beautiful one comes alone, so let’s say at least for the time being, Austria and I, we are enjoying a good relationship. The only downside is that I am a diet similar to that of a toddler due to a problem with my wisdom tooth. I am enjoying soup, yogurt and milk rice as I take the identity of the bride of Frankenstein’s monster, so that means no dates at the moment of course. But I had thought about the raging bull sketch,since I am not the usual pretty sight. And, no, I do not think anyone is talking to me at all right now! Which is fine by me, as I am in a bit of pain at the moment, but just guess, I also love the fact that Austria has high strength painkillers.

There are a few things which I have feel I have had the private privilege of experiencing.  But all of them took the extra effort to receive them, but rewards are better than gifts. Aside from money and booking early, which meant I was sat in the front row at a string quartet this week, the only other way you will be rewarded here in
Austria is to get up early and walk everywhere.  The lazy option of taking lifts is just not the way to go, as when you get to the top of a pick of numerous hills you really feel elated at having made it to the top ready to collapse in time for the view.

My only concern about my stay in Austria is that I can visualise on returning to the U.K, desperately trying to pull open a door which opens inwards, only to go flying through when a person on the other side pulls it towards them.  The only other downside is the usual hazard of hotel living, and the “in-room” entertainment, depending on how loud that entertainment is. Sometimes, I almost feel like knocking on the door and introducing myself.

Trains and planes.

The last few weeks I think I have spent far too long on trains, the problem being, is that I have seen the view out of the window many times. Hence, in the last journal I thought of something better to spend my time on. My suitcase has seen a lot of opening and closing, whilst I move about most days. Then each time I get home, I have the task of packing it again. This tends to take hours, choosing which pairs of stockings and suspender to take is often the biggest challenge. Then, which piece of underwear do you choose to leave behind. For this reason, I am glad of the trip to Austria. For another reason, the view out of the window will be unfamiliar and interesting. I may also bump into these stalking reporters, but hopefully I have just missed them and they have said their piece for now.

The last week has been a lovely exercise in seeing how polite men can be when things go completely wrong for me. Checking into my place in Manchester was quite a task and not quite as expected, and I guess the person in question, learned an awful about me, thank god for the fact that I did not completely lose my cool when dealing with the situation. Generally I am not very patient, but I learnt after buying a house to give up on impatience when you need work men around. The best things always make you wait, just like the best fantasies always make you wait.

I also learnt a little more about myself this week, that I seem to have some intuition about fate, which at least stops me from being upset when fate works its mishaps. The details I cannot express, but amazingly, another display of politeness, when considering the circumstances, it would only be fair to state, that I should be the last thing the person should be concerned with. Ok, I do not like fate very much at the moment, but I am appreciating the way some gentlemen handle themselves.

With that, some of the few activities I had planned might be reconsidered. I think I will play it safe in Austria with the Sound of Music tour. I am sure I can be a nice girl for one day and make the grannies adore me.