Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.

“Don’t worry Prince; I’ve bought a rope from Homebase. I’ll be with you in five minutes. Wait there.”

That’s the problem with me, as I have often been told; I am too independent, which can translate as frosty on occasion. I know I am a little volcano, it just depends how enamoured I am. But, I see the point, I am not exactly the type of woman waiting to be rescued, or taken away somewhere. When I try the wait and see approach, nothing happens. I always have my own little schemes of what to do next.

Last night, I had a surprise call from my ex-employer wanting to keep in touch. My first thought was, what does she want? However, now that she does not pay me, can I relax? Well only up to the point, I mentioned, as a single woman I am very busy and working very hard. She is allergic to the word ‘single’. When I left her employment, we went for a farewell meal together and she said in a year I would be married with children now that I have met her. I often thought her more likely to be hiding a broom stick rather than a magic wand. She will need it with six months left to the deadline.

I am now invited to France, but I know what will be on her agenda. She is a modern day, Russian Emma. I imagine her check list to go something like this:

• Own yacht.
• Low number of ex-wives.
• Will consider adoption, (less work for the wife.
• Has a discrete mistress, (less work for the wife.)
• Will hire a number of slaves, (less work for the wife.)
• A million credit cards because both wife and mistress are supposed to look perfect, they can’t have a job. Looking good is the most important job.

As opposed to my Dutch friend:

• Good in bed
• Can afford to buy his clothes
• Speaks five languages and was self taught.
• Byronic moodiness.
• Will not have a clue how to help you round the house. He spent his time learning five languages. Doh!

That just leaves me to figure out my own list! I think that will take about five years, and people wonder why Helen Fielding sold loads of books. 

Hung up on ‘Hung’.

I don’t normally have time for TV. I have been out of the country for a while as you know. I am limited to BBC world 24 or some film in Arabic, German or another language. Then I don’t have time
I am slaughtering lambs, shoulder dancing, running away from singing children, (they seemed quite menacing at the time) and pulling a suitcase around, just seems more interesting.
Series that connect, so that every week you have to watch them, just don’t tend to work for me. Someone bought me a box set, because even when I am in England, and not going anywhere, I never have the time to follow any series. Books are better now, they can go everywhere.

It is written by Colette Burson & Dmitry Lipkin, great one liners (“Great, I always wanted to be a product when I grew up!”, had me in stitches. It is sharp and the moment I was told about it, I knew I had to watch it. Well the UK is only four months behind the US and the fact it made it here means that it must have made some money. Perhaps audiences just wanted to find out if they would see a big erm....manhood. The story is that a man decides to become a straight male escort, financial reasons apply, but he believes his only talent left is his manhood and it is big!

His ex-lover decides to ‘market’ him and his training session of how to introduce himself and be nice to women was hilarious. He has to learn that the big man alone is not enough. One to watch, maybe I might hire him, since he has a woman’s training. But he is fictional. Damn it.

New Start

Given that I have been out of the UK for so long. It feels like a life time, it seems like a new start.
I am very glad of the supprt that has been offered by LIz Hilton. Check out her site at http://www.liz-vip-elite-london-escort.com/

Perhaps I will meeting some of you gentlemen in new places, since I love to travel so much. Maybe I can pack my case for a new location.
Suggestions are most welcome!

What an adventurer needs

After a lot of travel this year and a number of amazing adventures. Can you blame a girl for wanting to runaway from the grey skylines of the UK. However, after a length of time with no decent men around to admire, I am happy to have some nice men to view. I thought I had my next adventure decided for me and though I have heard that Argentina is an amazing place to go. But, it was not the country which preoccupied my thoughts, but the host. Is it any wonder, travel often leads to going without fun for a stretch of time.  You need a whole week to make up in order to recover. Why tango when you enjoy the result that the men in BA were longing for in bed. After numerous failed attempts, as I first guessed, it was never going to work out, I am not sure who was more carried away there. I am bitterly sorry, a number of fantasies will be laid to waste, but that is karma. It funny what you decide and what works out anyway. However, I did post on a number of sites that I might visit soon and I was faced with a barrage of requests for things that other Brits abroad really miss. Here is my list:

1 Sex – of course, you can’t rely on the presence of men in each place you go to. Or contemplate your colleagues, it is a small world
2 Marmite – even grown men weep at the lack of this brown sticky goo, so have I. Any guests in my next possible neighbourhoods (unknown at present) please bring this as a gift.
3 Well dressed and clean men. Thank you British men, most of you make some effort.
4 Western style toilets. Only women will understand this.
5 Baked beans, the best comfort food. Of all the nice restaurants I have managed to go to in the UK and abroad, I still adore Heinz.
6 Lastly, the English language. As much as I try to communicate in a range of other languages, it is nice to be understood and display some social skills. But this remains an occupational hazard for me.

In spite of this, I am still buzzing away to find the next place on my list. I have a much larger list of things that I don’t mind going without when I have adventures. I am already off to celebrate my scorpionic birthday with a great friend of mine in Amsterdam. Karma is asking me to discover the truth about Dutch men with the aid of my friend, are they really as boring as reported?